Luis Illades (Pansy Division/Avengers/French Letter) Interviews Miss Guy (Toilet Boys/Goonsquad)

Interview by Luis Illades, bloged/layout by Erik Karff

Hello out there, ladies and germs!
So here is the first installment in what I hope becomes a series of interviews conducted for the QxBxRx online sensation.  I do love a good hefty tome to settle into bed with at night, but when reading online, my attention shifts so quickly even if I am reading about someone or something that I find fascinating.  When trying to come up with an idea to pitch to the QxBxRx board members at their headquarters I found myself wondering why, what and how in the elevator up to their office on the 73rd floor.  Somewhere around the 43rd floor as I found my mind wandering, I realized that since I am practically a shut in and never leave the house, there would be little chance of me trolling the nightclubs of new york searching for a good scoop.

However, being in my twilight years, I do have a decent knowledge of queer history and interest in its future.  So, my plan is to interview people who I have found inspiring in the past, people who are really re-inventing the scene now and those who no one yet knows who show some glimmer of hope for those foreboding years to come!  I know you all hate reading so I have decided to conduct these interviews over IM (that's Instant messenger to you old folks).  I think that in this format, you will not get too much of a chance to get too bored and the subjects will not have too much of a chance to get too long winded or self aggrandizing.  DEAL? DEAL!

My first interview here is with Guy (or Miss Guy).  Guy has had so many artistic paths that I honestly don't know what stage to introduce him from.  I met guy in the mid 90's as he was cemented as New York most adventurous rock n roll DJ at the infamous Squeezebox club and embarking on a new career as frontperson for the band Miss Guy and the Toilet Boys (later known simply as the Toilet Boys).

What really struck me was how Guy kinda of set the mark for rock n roll being the center stage in a queer club.  This was something I had always dreamed of in the sea of techno beats and and varieties of house music coming out of every single square inch of the gay world at the time (and apparently still to this day).  Blasting everything from Joan Jett to the Rezillos in the first 10 minutes that I was at Squeezebox for the first time, made a huge impression on my naive sensibilities at the time.

Somewhere in that span of time, Guy started his band that to me looked like a rock n roll warrior princess lion taming and gangly groups of sewer rats that Iggy Pop had left behind at an abortion clinic. Their sound was tough and Guy basically owned it.  Although it came from a queer nighlife background The Toilet Boys didnt seem to get caught in subcultures and instead released records on metal label Roadrunner Records (an early home to bands like Sepultura and King Diamond!!).  So basically, this was something coming out of our world and kicking the machoest world right in the nuts!!!

So they toured and played shows with mega bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blondie, the Donnas, Nashville Pussy and other super tuff bands, all while in drag and blowing the shit out of amplifiers all over the place and basically setting nightclubs on fire.

I guess they broke up at some point, i don't remember when exactly, but Guy has a new band called Goonsquad which is pretty exciting and is still Djing all over the world. My bandmate just saw him DJing out in Vienna recently. in yer face Mozart!!!!

I sat down with some tea and got Guy online to chat with me about music, junior high school and that movie where Tom Hanks plays retarded and catches a white feather (below pic by Mike Ruiz)

Luis
Monday, January 12, 2009, 8:53
GUY:
Manhunt?
Luis!
nope! Transhunt
GUY:
ew! u wood
Luis!
sorry, did I offend? By the way this is an official interview. Everything is on record
GUY:
Nope, are you still having trouble getting erections Luis? Did the penis enlarger work Luis?
Luis!
Well, it was only when my cock was in your hand that I was having trouble.
GUY:
How about the Rogaine?
Luis!
By the way, am I speaking with guy or his publicist?
GUY:
ha-ha! it's his assistant, personal that is
Luis!
surely. so lets begin, yes? I want to talk about you, which I know you hate, but please humor me

GUY:
are you serious?
Luis!
why not? I mean we could reschedule til the end of the earth between your lunch with celebrities but I am a very busy person so what the fuck?
GUY:
wouldn't u rather talk in person or on the phone?
Luis!
It’s not Vanity Fair, its QxBxRx magazine
GUY:
I hate typing interviews
Luis!
No way this is the real you. Drunk at noon and online
GUY:
Lol, u don't know me, ok let's go fuck face
Luis!
no one does, but we'll get to that
GUY:
Ha-ha, true well, Madonna does
Luis!
so, first off, interviews are tres boring so let’s talk about childhood experiences like you doing cheap trick at your junior high school talent show, I mean we are talking career highlights here
GUY:
it was NSYNC, I did in jr. high
Luis!
oh right. I keep forgetting what a young ingénue you are!
GUY:
aw, thank you so much
Luis!
obviously I hit a sore spot
GUY:
You always do, can't your lady fingers type any faster?
Luis!
Well if you would answer any of my questions, I would have some real touchstones here...ok. Well in that case lets talk about something you really love. How was your lunch?
GUY:
What questions have you asked?
Luis!
I asked you about your show stopping performance doing cheap trick's "surrender" at your jr. high talent show. I want to feel the real grit of life as a performer
GUY:
I can't remember if I did surrender or I want you to want me, the live version of course! But I really wanted to do Blondie & lip-sync one way or another and dress like Debbie but my drama teacher, Mr. Deforge, said boys have to be boys & vice versa
Luis!
I can’t believe that your teacher wasn't into it. Do you think she was jealous?
GUY:
uh, Mr. Deforge was a man, a gay man I think, an old queen
Luis!
So obviously you went straight from there to being the toast of NYC
GUY:
Yes, ha-ha!
Luis!
I met you when you were in full Toilet Boys swing.
GUY:
Yeah, I thought you were stupid and ugly. I still do!
Luis!
You've stayed true to your roots in that dept. What were you doing before the point when I met you? I mean did you just appear out of thin air or where there countless years of trolling clubs?
GUY:
I was going to nightclubs from the moment I got to

New York

then started DJing in summer of '93, against my will I might add
Luis!
So you were jaded from the get go or did you have a moment when you walked into a place and were like "WOW! THE BIG APPLE!!"
GUY:
Seriously, I’ve never been jaded!
Luis!
I mean to be honest for one second, I do remember arriving in

San Francisco

when I did and seeing some of the freaky shit going on and thinking "finally...."
GUY:
I joke a lot but N.Y. still amazes me, yeah totally! I still feel like that when I see something great! Bands still excite me, music, make up, hair, etc. it all still gets me really excited if someone's doing something exciting
Luis!
I agree. It’s so easy for me to cap on the kiddies, but there is something strong in certain cities. When we play in other towns at any gay events I am shocked at how good I’ve got it where I am
GUY:
I’m excited about doing a new project with you and I’m excited about Goonsquad. Fuck,  the toilet boys is still an exciting idea to me
Luis!
I mean you have DJ'ed gigs all over the world. Do you ever find yourself at like Gay Pride Cincinnati and feel kinda bad for the 2 weirdo gays that are so excited for you to be there?
GUY:
Your hair and outfit were exciting to me at dinner Saturday night, ha-ha!
Luis!
Well I did work the coif because I knew I would be dining with VIPs
GUY:
I don't do a lot of gay pride events believe it or not, although I did Toronto this last June, it was fun, you're retarded
Luis!

Toronto

is great. I think I met you once there once in the 90s
GUY:
Really?
Luis!
I think I was coked out of my head and you smoked a lot of cigs
GUY:
ha! Yeah for a while on & off, just for show really, I thought it looked good with my look. Didn't we meet in la or SF?
Luis!
Well let’s talk about that look a little bit
GUY:
Dime store whore
Luis!
Joan Jett with a bleach job and a bulging package!
GUY:
that's a good one!
Luis!
how was that received on tours n stuff?
GUY:
I’ve heard it all, usually we got a great response
Luis!
I mean pansy division definitely had some adversarial audiences but we looked like total squares
GUY:
I think I got away with my look because of the balance going on with the guys...they were shirtless & tattooed & tough
Luis!
Not a lot of people from the queer scene at that time (or even now) got a chance to take the show on the road, so when people in other towns got a chance to get a peep at it, mostly they were pretty excited more so than freaked
GUY:
I think people thought twice about fucking with any of us though because we were from New York & scary looking
Luis!
It always helps to be super tuff
GUY:
Yeah, it's the only way my thing worked, cuz I am tough but I never felt a part of the queercore thing, although I had lots of friends who were a part of it
Luis!
There’s kind of this thing in the glam period where suburban kids would look at a Bowie or Roxy Music album for hours and wonder what it would be like to live in that world. And if they were lucky enough they got to see one of those bands live
GUY:
And we did a few shows early w/you guys
Luis!
But I feel like there was something similar to that on a smaller scale for our band and yours and some others where you would show up at a town and that one lonely kid would have tons of questions
GUY:
But we mostly had regular Joe crowds for the most part
Luis!
Yeah, us too.
GUY:
Yeah I met so many cool kids along the way, got nice letters etc.
But I was just having fun & not thinking I was changing anyone's life but I think I touched a few people…in the dressing room…after every show! ha-ha
Luis!
I agree. None of it seemed like more than just being in a band until time has passed and I look at it and I think, "oh that was a really cool experience" but.... ok.... now I’m reaching back in this handy dandy I’M session. You mentioned the whole queercore thing. I think we were involved in it but I never felt like a real part of it. The thing I always thought was how weird is this?
GUY:
Yeah I wish I coulda been more appreciative of what was happening WHILE it was happening but I was too preoccupied thinking about the future & doing better shows When really all the shows were fun
Luis!
The gay guys that were really into it were really into the lady bands, Bikini Kill, Sleater Kinney etc. Am I crazy or is it way harder for gay dudes to be into other gay dudes doing music. Is it a weird gender thing or what? Am I wrong?
GUY:
Well, I think the girl bands seemed a lot angrier so maybe they related to that & some of the boy bands were silly
Luis!
You may be very right
GUY:
I like to be silly. I think being angry is bad for you
Luis!
Me too. I mean I am a deeply troubled artist and all of that, but I just want to liiiiiive!
GUY:
But I like angry music sometimes. We played an early show with Bikin Kill & I thought what's her name, the singer, was an asshole
Luis!
I want to write angry music, but angry at myself. Like "why am I so stupid?" or a song that sounds like me stubbing my toe.
GUY:
But I thought she was amazing in Le Tigre. She's a smart cookie. You're a fool Luis
Luis!
These days I’m only into clown metal anyway. I like Korn and Slipknot and what’s the other one? wait..... Insane Clown Posse

GUY:
You keep jumping from one idea to another. Gross!
Luis!
Well,  before we talk about our amazing band that we're gonna start, lets talk about your new thing, Goonsquad
GUY:
I like The Four Tops & Smokey Robinson & The Supremes
Luis!
I like Little Anthony and the Imperials a lot
GUY:
That’s the direction I wanna go with out new band…meets Grease
Luis!
You have to be like Dean Martin though
GUY:
I like Little Anthony (and The Imperials) A LOT
Luis!
Tears on my pillow!!
GUY:
Yeah I’ll throw in a pinch of dean…Oh u wanna great story!!!???
Luis!
Ok. I need for you (and me) to focus. Ok ok good story then focus
GUY:
That’s why we should talk in person idiot
Luis!
Shut up

GUY:
We’re two Geminies who like to talk (sometimes) and we have to type. I haven't been able to read one thing you’ve written
Luis!
That’s is a problem for the school system to solve dummy, not my fault. I never learned to read!!!!! So what’s this fucking story then?
GUY:
cuz you’re a wetback
Luis!
doy
GUY:
Well, Dean martin lived in the apartment next door to me in the 60's! and he and Marilyn Monroe were good friends & making a movie together when she died... and I bet she walked RIGHT past my door from the elevator to go to his apartment! Of course this was before I lived here! ha-ha Telly Savalas lived in this building too
Luis!
I would love to attend a party with Telly, dean and Marilyn
GUY:
ME TOO!!! remember when a shaved head looked REALLY REALLY weird?
Luis!
if I wished for that from a genie in a bottle I would get to go to a party with dean Werham, Marilyn MC, Coo and Telly Smith
GUY:
Kojak was the only one
Luis!
you have to be specific in your wishes
GUY:
and Yule Brenner
GUY:
I like Marilyn McCoo
Luis!
you would fag
GUY:
but yes you do have to be specific. you wanna know why in the form of another story?Luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9:37 yes I do The Toiletboy 9:37
I saw that tom hanks movie, when he's retarded. What's it called
u know, anyway
Luis!
yeah yeah the chocolates one
GUY:
with my best friend & we were walking down 8th Ave
Luis!
and you said you wished you were retarded and you already were. ZING!
GUY:
is that the movie that had something to do with catching a feather?
Luis!
oh yes
GUY:
buh duh bump ok, so we're on 8th by Madison square garden & out of nowhere a white feather falls & I catch itwe freaked out & my friend said you have to make a wish so I said I want to play at Madison square gardenand then a few years later my band opened for Blondie there BUT here's why you have to be specific I meant I wanted to headline MSG but I didn't say that I just said play there well, I got my wish but we were just the opening act still great
Luis!
that’s more than most people ever get in a lifetime
GUY:
yeah we did so many cool things
Luis!
its kind of like this afternoon when you wished to be chatting online with a stud tonight and you got me instead
GUY:
ha-ha I don't get into chatting online I like to meet or nuthin
Luis!
you did do so many cool things. I feel like most bands that have toured have had at least one moment that they never expected they would have. however small
GUY:
but I prefer chatting with u rather than hanging out you're boring in person ha-ha
Luis!
yeah, I at least need to get an appetizer and a bubbly out of the deal ya know?
GUY:
I don't care about that
Luis!
oh no. I totally am. I went to the qxbxrx the other night and could not seem to drum up any personality in mingling or conversing
GUY:
I just want them in my bed naked as fast as possible
no dinners no dates, no movies, fuck that, then get out, ha-ha
Luis!
was it Dostoevsky or Rupaul who once said.....you betta work?
GUY:
I know, me & the promoters were talking about how dull you are
Luis!
I’m not sure which but it makes sense
GUY:
Dostoevsky I loved your drumming, on a serious note and you are a fun drummer to watchwhich is rare
Luis!
well I’m sure that the illiterates that read this lil magazine are having a hard time with their attention spans about now. so lets talk about your new band Goonsquad. the kids have to know!!!!
GUY:
myspace.com/goonnyc
Luis!
the end!
GUY:
they can decide for themselves what am I gonna say?
Luis!
but seriously ladies and germs. what does this tickle in your lil music bones?

GUY: I think it's all bullshit anyway, yeah we're cool we're genius you'll love us, BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Luis!
I like how euro pop it is, but in a Serge Gainsbourg way not an ABBA way
GUY:
to quote Iggy, I love serge Gainsbourg and listen to Bardot a lot, but I don't know, I just wanted to do something fun and weird or something that I thought was fun & weird
Luis!
I cannot wait to see it live. will you put me on the pest list?
GUY:
no
Luis!
I have to pay?
GUY:
ha-ha, the pest list! That's a song waiting to happen!
Luis!
right?
GUY:
I like blow jobs
Luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9:50
I write for a zine, man!!!!
GUY:
who doesn't? like BJ's
Luis!
that’s nice, dear
GUY:
ha-ha
Luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9:50
shall we call it done?
GUY:
so what else moron? I'm sick of you already